Honk All You Want—I'm Still Looking Both Ways

This article is dedicated to every parent who has ever been honked at for choosing safety over someone else's impatience.

Honk! Honk!

That's what I heard the moment the light turned green. I hadn't been sitting there on my phone. I wasn't daydreaming. I wasn't holding up traffic. I was doing exactly what I was taught to do—looking left and right to make sure nobody was about to run the red light.

My daughter was in the back seat.

Apparently, those two seconds were too much for the driver behind me. They honked as if I was wasting their time. The truth is, I was making sure we both made it home alive.

That wasn't the first time another driver's impatience reminded me just how dangerous the roads can be.

A few months earlier, I was driving through an intersection with my daughter in the back seat. The traffic light was green, so I proceeded as any other driver would. Out of nowhere, another vehicle came speeding through their red light and nearly T-boned us.

Thankfully, they stopped in time.

When I got home that day, I couldn't stop thinking about what almost happened. I kept replaying those few seconds in my head and wondering how different my life could have been if that driver hadn't stopped in time. I looked at my daughter and realized just how quickly everything we love can change because of one careless decision behind the wheel.

She'll probably never remember that drive.

I will.

That's why I take those extra few seconds. Not because I'm afraid to drive. Because I know how quickly a normal day can become the worst day of someone's life. That experience is exactly why I refuse to rush through intersections, even when I have the right of way.

So when someone honks because I take two extra seconds to make sure the intersection is clear, they don't know what I've experienced. More importantly, they don't know who's sitting in my back seat.

What that driver behind me didn't know was that I had already seen someone ignore a red light. I'd already experienced that split second where your heart drops because another driver's decision almost changes your life forever.

So no, your horn wasn't going to rush me.

Not when my daughter was depending on me to make the safest decision possible.

Road laws and speed limits are not merely suggestions. They exist for a reason. They are designed to protect you, your passengers, pedestrians, cyclists, and every other person sharing the road. Speed limits reduce the severity of crashes. Traffic lights and stop signs help keep traffic moving safely. Those few extra seconds you spend checking your surroundings can be the difference between getting home safely and becoming another accident statistic.

I understand that emergencies happen. If you're experiencing a true emergency, call 911 immediately. Emergency responders are trained and equipped to help when every second matters. But if you're simply running late for work, an appointment, or an errand, speeding and driving aggressively isn't the answer. Saving one or two minutes is never worth risking your life—or someone else's.

Safe driving is about much more than following the speed limit.

Put the phone away. That text message, social media notification, or quick glance at your GPS can wait until you're safely parked.

Never drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If you've been drinking or using anything that impairs your judgment, call a friend, use a rideshare service, or find another safe way home. There's no shame in asking for help, but there is unimaginable heartbreak when a preventable crash takes someone's life.

Wear your seat belt every single time you get in a vehicle, and make sure every passenger is buckled up properly. If you have children, ensure they're secured in the correct car seat or booster seat for their age, height, and weight.

Leave a few minutes earlier if you know you have somewhere to be. Running late happens to everyone, but arriving safely is far more important than arriving on time.

Driving isn't a competition.

You don't "win" by getting somewhere first.

You win by making it home safely—and helping everyone else make it home safely, too.

Car accidents can be fatal for adults, children, and infants alike. While properly installed car seats and other safety equipment greatly reduce the risk of injury, they cannot prevent every tragedy. The safest crash is the one that never happens.

Sometimes people ask why I don't have one of those "Baby on Board" signs in my back window.

The truth is...

I shouldn't need one.

I shouldn't have to advertise that there's a child in my vehicle for people to choose to drive responsibly. Drivers should obey traffic laws, respect speed limits, avoid distracted driving, never drive impaired, and be patient with others, regardless of who's in the car next to them.

Maybe the vehicle in front of you has a newborn.

Maybe it's carrying an elderly passenger.

Maybe someone inside is recovering from surgery.

Maybe it's a teenager learning to drive.

Maybe it's a family heading home after dinner.

Maybe it's someone on their way to visit a loved one.

Maybe it's someone rushing to the hospital.

Or maybe it's just another person trying to make it home safely.Every vehicle deserves the same respect because every vehicle is carrying someone's life.

Safe driving shouldn't depend on whether you think there's a baby in the back seat—it should simply be how we drive every day.

At the end of the day, I don't expect everyone to drive perfectly. Mistakes happen. We're all human. What I do hope is that we remember we're sharing the road with real people.

Someone's spouse.

Someone's parent.

Someone's son or daughter.

Someone's best friend.

Someone's grandparent.

Someone's entire world.

The car in front of you may be carrying someone's entire world.

In my case, that's my daughter.

One day, she'll be old enough to sit in the driver's seat herself. I hope she'll remember that I always took those extra few seconds. I hope she'll remember that getting somewhere safely is more important than getting there quickly. And I hope she never lets another driver's impatience convince her to ignore her instincts or rush through an intersection.

The next time the light turns green and the car in front of you doesn't move immediately, don't reach for the horn.

Instead, ask yourself one question:

What if they're doing exactly what I hope my spouse, my child, my parents, or my best friend would do?

Checking that it's safe.

You don't know the story of the people driving around you. But you can choose not to become the worst chapter in it. We can't control how other people drive, but we can choose to be the driver we'd want our loved ones to share the road with.

So slow down.

Put the phone away.

Don't drink and drive.

Wear your seat belt.

Be patient.

Give yourself an extra minute.

Because someone is waiting for every driver on the road to make it home.

Let's all do our part to make sure they do.

Child Passenger Safety

If you have children riding in your vehicle, make sure they're properly secured in a car seat or booster seat that's appropriate for their age, height, and weight. Proper use of child restraints significantly reduces the risk of serious injury during a crash.

For additional information on child passenger safety, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Child Passenger Safety page, speak with your child's doctor, and review your state's child passenger safety laws to ensure you're meeting all legal requirements.

Most importantly, remember that while car seats provide incredible protection, they are not invincible. Safe driving is still the best way to protect everyone in your vehicle.

If this article convinces even one person to slow down, wait a few extra seconds, put down their phone, or think twice before laying on the horn, then writing it was worth it.

Because getting home safely is more important than getting there first.