Our First Days Home
Updated: Sep 27
Finally Home
When we finally got home, I was still feeling very disoriented. My mom helped to get us settled.
While my mom was teaching my husband how to change a diaper, my stepdad was reminding me to pump. My baby never managed to latch, so I was like, well, I can still pump at least.
I will be completely honest: I know my stepdad was trying to help, but at the time, my head and my body just weren't with it. So I was a little annoyed by constantly being reminded to pump. I just wanted to sit for a minute.
I was producing enough milk that I was almost able to pump a good 2–3 oz bottle in about 10–15 minutes. I was pretty happy about that.
After that, Mom went over the medications the doctor put me on so I knew what each was, what they were for, and when to take them. He had put me on labetalol and one other one I don't remember the name of. I ended up not needing to take that one past the first or second day because it was mostly for pain.
Learning to Eat Again
My parents got us some lunch, and my mom talked to us about how I could help get my blood pressure down by also eating foods with less sodium in them. Healthy Choice meals, chicken, etc. Drinking more water.
To be completely honest and transparent, I was a little scared to eat.
I worried about my blood pressure getting too high again or not ever coming back down and having to be on blood pressure medication from then on.
The Heat Problem
My parents left and we went on with our day.
Because it was still cool out, we had the heat on lightly, but the pediatrician told us our baby needed to be kept warm for a bit.
The problem was that the heat made me feel absolutely awful.
I couldn't stand to be in the same room as my child because of the heat. My heart felt like it was racing, and I was starting to struggle to breathe.
My husband stayed in the room with our baby, and I stayed in the living room.
At one point, I made a big bottle of water and went outside to try and cool off. I called my mom and told her how I was feeling.
She said to take another pill, even though it had been 6 hours instead of 8, and to drink water. She'd be over in the morning.
So I did.
I went back inside, opened one window, turned a fan on, and turned the AC on for a bit.
All I could do was sit there and cry.
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't be in the room with my child. I felt awful both physically and emotionally.
The Next Morning
The next morning, I was feeling a bit better. I didn't sleep much.
My mom came over to check on me and sent my husband to go get a blood pressure reader from CVS.
Once we got the reader, Mom helped me figure out how to use it. We took my reading, and Mom stayed to monitor me.
After about an hour or so, I started to feel bad again, and we took my reading again.
Mom took one look and said, "Go back to the ER."
"I Just Brought My Baby Home"
We stayed long enough for Mom to pack overnight stuff for our baby so she could take our child with her for the night.
While we were sitting there, I looked at my husband, with tears in my eyes, and told him, "I'm not ready to go. We just brought our baby home."
I felt like I was leaving. Like these were my last days and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
I was scared.
The look my husband gave me.
I scared him without even meaning to.
He hugged me while I cried for a minute.
Then we all left. My mom took our baby with her, and my husband took me to the ER. My OB-GYN was there, and he checked on me and put me on another medication called Procardia.
After we left, I felt much better.
I called my mom to let her know what happened, and because it was late, around 10:30 or 11 p.m., my parents agreed to keep our baby for the night so I could rest.
20 Pounds of Fluid
Y'all, I spent the whole night getting up and down from the bathroom to pee.
I dropped about 20 lbs of fluid in that one night.
Before:
After:
I had checked my weight that morning, and I was 262lbs! By the next morning, I was 244lbs!
Before that night, my feet and hands felt dry, and the skin felt tight. I couldn't even really properly bend my foot when walking. I had to do this weird penguin walk/shuffle. None of my shoes fit. My mom bought me a new pair of Crocs that were bigger, and those still didn't fit!
I ended up just wearing my husband's house slippers toward the end of my pregnancy and to the hospital. Both for the C-section and for the ER visit after.
That night after getting home from the ER, my husband and I took the time just to sit together and try to process what had happened. Something that was not clear to me then and still probably isn't super clear to me now. Was the fact that I could have died. Even now, I still have moments where I have to just process the whole thing.
First Days As a Family
After that, we spent the week adjusting to having our new baby with us. My husband took his paternity leave, so it was just the 3 of us... mostly. My parents did come by a lot that first week.
90% for the baby and 10% for me haha.
I kept my mother updated on my health multiple times a day in case she noticed anything or could give me some suggestions.
I remember being scared to eat most of the time. I was absolutely terrified of permanent high blood pressure. The idea made me feel like I'd never be myself again. Sleeping was also difficult for me. At the hospital, it was hard for me to sleep because of the lights, the beeping of the machines, and the fear that my child would need me at some point and I would be too asleep to hear anything.
At home, I would take care of my baby and lay down in between feedings, but I would periodically sit up to check and make sure my baby was ok.
I don't remember a whole lot from that first week. Honestly, I'm having to dig pretty deep into the memory banks to piece it together. I remember certain moments, certain feelings, and little pieces of what happened, but a lot of that first week is just a blur.
I think most of the time was spent just getting the nursery ready because it wasn't finished before our baby arrived. We even made a little family joke about how she couldn't wait to get out and see the world and see her pops haha!
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